The Storm of uncertainty
Fell into a bit of ADHD burn out with a spout of depression. Climbed back into my hidey-hole.
Ready to emerge again, must get caught up on all my slacking to-do's.
It's always a surprise when I come out of my hermit shell. It's almost as though I don’t even realize I went back in.
I come out of my shell long enough to move a couple inches forward. The fog lifts away for a while and it's like I have the ability to do things! I feel free, the gate to my tiny cage has been lifted!
The fog begins to roll in, increasing in density and mass. Growing darker and heavier with each passing second. I feel myself curling up into my cozy home ready to prepare for the storm. The fog is so thick it has covered any possible source of light. The wind is whirling so intensely with gushing bellows of air to throw my little crab self, shell and all, into the twisting, raging fit of a level 7 tornado busting through concrete walls. I awake months later confused and battered from the storm beating me so harshly that it takes a moment to gather my bearings.
Just as I begin to realize. Once I have that breakthrough of remembering everything that I just experienced another storm is headed right for me.
But don’t you worry, because while I am getting thrown against life's batting cage and getting beaten to a pulp, there is so much growth and progress happening within. Where no one can see.
I'm learning the patterns of the storm, I am aware of the offsets and I am constantly seeking the opportunities to obtain balance.
~ Makayla
Self-loves helps me to accept the scenario in which my life is playing currently. I am able to offer myself more compassion and understanding, and that my fellow hermit crabs, is a mighty win!
It is difficult to have self-love and care when it seems all your time is sucked away by two energy consuming tiny humans who demand all of your time and attention. However, here is to making more of an effort to make time for things such as meditation, "spa" night, crafty night for just yourself and/or with friends. Having girls night more frequently, and even allowing yourself to lock away in your own space to decompress and let the nerves settle. Removing the boiling pot of water from the blazing burner and simmering down to peace.
I am at the trail head of this new path, I am terrified of the unknown, yet also ecstatic to be moving in a direction I had not contemplated before. This journey is bound to be a wild one, also an extremely rewarding one!